Vocabulary - Illuminati

Illuminati:

The Illuminati (plural of Latin illuminatus, "enlightened") is a name given to several groups, both real (historical) and fictitious. Historically the name refers to the Bavarian Illuminati, an Enlightenment-era secret society founded on May 1, 1776. In more modern contexts the name refers to a purported conspiratorial organization which is alleged to mastermind events and control world affairs through governments and corporations to establish a New World Order. In this context the Illuminati are usually represented as a modern version or continuation of the Bavarian Illuminati.

Source:  http://en.wikipedia.org/

Vocabulary - Moon Landing

Moon Landing:

A moon landing is when two people's naked butts bump as they bend over. 

Two men in a gym locker room bend over at the same time while facing away from each other and their naked butts bump:

"Oh, oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!"

"What? Was that your first moon landing?"

Quotes - Andrew Niccol

Andrew Niccol:

I never saved anything for the swim back.

Quotes - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Alfred Lord Tennyson:

Hope smiles on the threshold of the year to come, whispering that it will be better.

Vocabulary - Credit Card Roulette

Credit Card Roulette:

A game of chance to decide which person pays for a restaurant meal. Every party contributes a credit/debit card into a hat and the waiter/waitress removes one card at time. The last card removed pays the entire bill. 

We played credit card roulette at breakfast and DJ's card was the last one picked. He had to pick up the 200 dollar tab and since he is unemployed the California taxpayers provided the meal.

Poem - "Arcturus" Is His Other Name By Emily Dickinson

"Arcturus" Is His Other Name:


"Arcturus" is his other name—
I'd rather call him "Star."
It's very mean of Science
To go and interfere!

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Quotes - Richard Cumberland

Richard Cumberland:

It is better to wear out than to rust out.

News - British Man Gives Birth to A Baby Boy

British Man Gives Birth to A Baby Boy:

According to recent reports, a British man in his thirties has given birth to a baby boy. The man, who started life as a woman but then underwent a sex change, apparently kept all his female reproductive organs. The baby is thought to have been born by caesarean section.


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Vocabulary - Defecately

Defecately:

A more dignified way to say "Shit Yeah!" so you don't sound uneducated in the presence of others. 

"Excuse me, fine sir, but would you perhaps like a spot of tea?"

"Oh, defecately, that would please me so."

Vocabulary - Somebody's Girl Syndrome

Somebody's Girl Syndrome:

When a really hot chick has trouble getting dates because guys all assume she already has a boyfriend and are scared to approach her.

Can you believe Jennifer didn't have a date for the prom? She must be suffering from somebody's girl syndrome.

Vocabulary - Insurance Piss

Insurance Piss:

The act of going to the toilet when you don't really need to, to make sure you don't need to go later.

Her:"lets leave this pub before your too drunk to leave"

Him:"OK, but I need to take an insurance piss first"

Vocabulary - Soberiety

Soberiety:

1) An intoxicated person's way of saying "sobriety."

2) The state of feeling sober even though one is obviously not.

Soberiety is a bitch." "I hate soberiety.

Vocabulary - Garriage

Garriage:

Gay marriage.

The gay couple invited all their friends to celebrate the couple's garriage ceremony.

Quotes - Robert Louis Stevenson

Robert Stevenson:

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

Quotes - Eminem

Eminem:

In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes
But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful, oh
They can all get fucked.
Just stay true to you
So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
Oh, they can all get fucked.
Just stay true to you

Vocabulary - Is a Frogs Ass Water Tight

Is a Frogs Ass Water Tight:

This phrase is used to describe something that is so obvious.

Syn: Do the bears shit in the wood; Is the Pope a Catholic.

A- Are we going to get Chimichangas?

B- Is a frogs ass water tight.

Vocabulary - Party Pressure

Party Pressure:

When you are invited to a party or event and don't really feel like going, but you feel some sort of obligation to attend.

Yeah, I don't really feel like going to John's party, I'm sooooo tired... but I told everyone I would be there, so I'll probably surrender to part pressure.

Vocabulary - Hater

Hater:

A person who feels anger and/or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for. 

Susan: You know, Kevin from accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part of town.

Jane (hater): If he is doing so well why does he drive that '89 Taurus?

Symbol - Eagle

The Eagle:

The eagle is present across a range of beliefs or philosophies:

The Eagle represents spiritual protection, carries prayers, and brings strength, courage, wisdom, illumination of spirit, healing, creation, and knowledge of magic. The eagle has an ability to see hidden spiritual truths, rising above the material to see the spiritual. The eagle has an ability to see the overall pattern, and the connection to spirit guides and teachers. The eagle represents great power and balance, dignity with grace, a connection with higher truths, intuition and a creative spirit grace achieved through knowledge and hard work.

The dictionary of scripture and myth, describes the eagle as:

A symbol of the holy spirit, which flies, as it were, through the mind (air) from the higher nature (heaven) to the lower nature (earth) and soars aloft to the self (sun).

In ancient Egypt and Babel the eagle was:

The symbol of the noon sun, which signified the Great Spirit.

A sermon written by T. Rhonda Williams explores the tradition within the English church of placing the bible on the outstretched wings of an eagle, and concludes;

In sacred symbolism the eagle stands for that power of rising above the earth, above the physical and the literal, into the heavens of rarefied faith, a mystic intuition, and a penetrating spiritual intuition.

Source:  http://www.eaglespiritministry.com


Poem - The Eagle By Alfred, Lord Tennyson

The Eagle:

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ring'd with the azure world, he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.

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Vocabulary - Trash Angel

Trash Angel:

Lying on the back, waving your arms and legs to form the impression of an angel, in a pile of trash. Typically performed by drunks in New York.

Vanessa's night ended when she fell over the pile of garbage on the curb and performed trash angels in the street til the cab arrived.

Vocabulary - Haters Gonna Hate

Haters Gonna Hate:

A phrase that represents ones complete and total disregard of another's negative comment towards the original person.

*Guy 1 is walking down the street and passes Guy 2*

Guy 2: Why are you so ugly?

Guy 1: Haters Gonna Hate. *Keeps on walking*

Dude 1: Hey Fatty!

Dude 2: Haters Gonna Hate


Vocabulary - Petri Douche

Petri Douche:

A place/location where a lot of douche bags are known to congregate.

Oh hell no I'm not going to Wetherspoons, that place is a petri douche!

Vocabulary - Eye Broccoli

Eye Broccoli:

Opposite of eye candy, someone unappealing to look at.

Barney: "so, who's the eye broccoli?"

Marshall: "my new assistant"

Vocabulary - For Crying Out Loud

For Crying out Loud:

An expression used for emphasis. 

For crying out loud will you stop playing those drums!


Vocabulary - Open Relationship

Open Relationship:

A euphemism describing a relationship in which one or more participants are cheating. 

Dude, I heard your girlfriend slept with John, why are you still with her?
Nah, it's cool, we're in an open relationship.

Vocabulary - Congressional Review

Congressional Review:

To loosely read or breeze through a document, likely missing a fair amount of the information contained within.

How tough will the upgrade be?
I'm not too sure, I only gave the guide a Congressional Review.